


Welcome to the Shitshow

by RadioMoth



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (Well they were supposed to be negotiations but Sollux sort of ruined that), (temporarily anyways), Anal Sex, Biting, Blow Jobs, Eridan is a Weenie, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Frottage, Humanstuck, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Polyamory Negotiations, emotional bullshit, inadequacy issues, mentions of past violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 04:25:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15283596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioMoth/pseuds/RadioMoth
Summary: “Dave,” you say, trying desperately to keep your tone even, “This is the singular most disgustin’ place I’ve ever had the misfortune of layin’ my head in all my twenty four years of existence, an’ I spent my summers on a shrimp boat.”[Or, In Which Eridan has Emotional Dilemmas, Dave Suggests They All Fuck, and Sollux Can't Keep it In His Pants]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roundandtalented](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roundandtalented/gifts).



> [Also they're all human]
> 
> Optional Listening: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F46uxt26QWw
> 
> [edit now that authors have been revealed]--  
> I really hope you dig this! I was super nervous abt getting assigned you of all people- i mean the odds i'd get someone I've actually talked to outside of one-off comments was bizarrely low lol, and i love ur art and writing so much

Dave’s an idiot.

He tries, you know that, but even you could have told him that driving all the way down to Corpus Christi when the weather report clocks in at over a 50% chance of thunderstorms is a bad idea; turns out it isn’t just rain, it’s _rain_ , and the two of you end up more than fucked, racing down the highway with a hurricane at your backs. Dave’s shitty Prius is in no way capable of handling 60 mile an hour winds, and after a few close calls the two of you end up pulling into the parking lot of the shittiest fucking motel you’ve ever seen in your entire goddamn life.

It looks like something straight out of a horror movie, and you balk as Dave tugs you inside, babbling something about it being somehow  _safer_ in this godforsaken shithole than in the car; you want to protest, but the lightning that flashes across the sky shuts you up. Your fingers itch to strangle the idiot who calls himself your boyfriend, but you figure you’d at least take a look at the inside of the room before deciding whether or not he gets to live.

Your mistake.

It’s dingy. It’s dirty. The carpet looks several centuries old, with stains that may as well have come from the stone age with how deep they’re ground into the fibers. The beds look unkempt, and your stomach flips when you wonder if they’ve even been cleaned, or changed from the last guest.

The whole situation feels like a rather shitty metaphor for your life right now, honestly.

“Dave,” you say, trying desperately to keep your tone even, “This is the singular most disgustin’ place I’ve ever had the misfortune of layin’ my head in all my twenty four years of existence, an’ I spent my summers on a shrimp boat.”

You’re trying so, so hard to stay calm, but it’s difficult, okay? Dave tries, but he’s been so fucking busy lately- busy with work, busy with art, busy with his other partners. The polyamorous little shit has two other boyfriends- you feel like you hardly get to see him as-is, and now the weekend you were supposed to have him all to yourself gets ruined by an act of fucking god and you end up forced to spend the night in a place you wouldn’t even make a dog sleep.

Thunder rolls, the lights flicker, and you want to cry.

“Aw, Eri,” he says, and his arms are around your waist and you fight the urge to just… flop into him, let him take your weight, “I’m sorry, babe.”

Sorry doesn’t make it better, but you refrain from mentioning so- that would be petty even for you. Sorry doesn’t give the time back you’ve already lost with him, sorry doesn’t make the painful, inadequate, insidious bullshit in the back of your head go away-

“Sorry don’t make the place any cleaner, Da’e.”

Your voice wavers a little- from cold, you insist in your own mind, even though you know it’s not true- and you cross your arms, foot tapping against the floor.

“Look- I know it’s shittier than the port-a-potty in front of a taco stand at Burning Man, okay, but it’s all we got right now. I’ll make it up to you, yeah? Next time, it’s just gonna be you, me, and an all-expenses-paid trip straight to your apartment. Fuck all this traveling bullshit, we’ll just laze around in your bed and eat take out and cuddle all weekend while watchin’ shitty historical documentaries, okay?”

No telling when next time will be, but his mouth is already on your throat and you can’t help but sigh, your hands sliding from their place crossed against your chest to rest on his hips as he tugs you close. No telling when next time will be- could be next weekend, next month, not for another three months- but it would be petty to say that out loud, and you’ve gotten better at keeping your pettiness to yourself.

[And besides, the little voice in your head whispers, be grateful for what you get, it’s more than you deserve-]

“Better be an all-expenses-paid trip straight to the mall to make up for this shit,” is what you say instead, tilting your head just a bit, “This place looks like you could catch a disease just from sittin’ on the sheets.”

But it’s better than nothing, you suppose, and there’s no way Dave can ditch you for the other two when there’s a hurricane outside, so that’s… gotta be worth something.

Because Dave’s not just with you- he’s with you, and with Sollux, and with Karkat. Sollux and Karkat are together as well- you’re the outlier in this scenario. The intruder. The interloper on something they’ve been sharing for years, and you feel like it every time he talks about them, every time you see them together. They have something that you want in such a fierce, desperate way that it scares you, but you content yourself with what you have.

[More than you deserve-]

“If you catch a disease, I will pay all your medical bills until you inevitably waste away from some newly discovered illness only transferable by shitty motel blankets that they’ll definitely end up naming after you. Eridanitis or something. What a legacy.”

His hands cup your hips and his mouth moves against your throat as he mumbles, his body warm against yours, so warm- the two of you are still wet with rainwater and his hair tickles your throat and he’s just so, so perfect.

You care for him in a terrible, savage manner. You want him in the same way you want to breathe, want your heart to beat- it’s automatic. Everything he does, everything he says makes your chest ache, makes you want to hold him close and never let him go, but you always have to- and it hurts so much you can hardly tolerate it. You want more than anything to be a part of what they have, all three of them- to be welcome there, to be one with that- but you’re just…

Extra.

You’d loved Karkat since you were a child, when you two had first met on the playground and he’d kicked Vriska into the sandbox before helping you up and brushing you off in the same bossy, put-upon manner he still affects, so many years later. You’d loved Sollux since middle school, hot and bright and passionate and angry, when you’d first fought over something so stupid you can’t even begin to remember what it might have been and he’d broken his fingers by breaking your nose. You’d loved Dave since high school, sharing a stand in music class, when he’d slapped a sticker on your violin case and told you that you were the coolest band kid he knew- with the exception of himself, of course.

And of course, as is the manner of things, all three of them decided they fit so well together- all three of them fell into each other’s arms, and you’d resigned yourself to being the laughing stock of fate once again. Dave approaching you had been unexpected, but… god, it was something. It was… it had to be enough. It had to be enough, what little time you got with him, the few weekends you could wrench out of his schedule. You always felt like a backup plan, like the spare tire stuck in the trunk, forgotten about until needed, but when he had Sollux and Karkat waiting for him at home every night-- why wouldn’t you be?

You close your eyes and tilt your head further back and cling to him, fingers white-knuckled with the force of your grip. Right now, all his attention is on you. It’s… enough.

You feel the buzzing of his phone in his pocket rather than hear it, and he pulls back, one hand still on your hip as he checks his messages. The way his face softens, the way a smile tugs at one corner of his mouth- you know who it’s from before he says anything.

“Go ahead and answer it,” is all you say, and he lets out an apologetic laugh, his free hand sliding up over your side, petting over the wet fabric of your shirt as he thumbs out a text in response to whatever they sent him.

“They’re just worried,” he says, still soft-eyed, still thinking of them and not you and jealousy burns bright and hot in your chest for a moment before you stomp it down as viciously as you can manage, “They’re listening to the news report and wanna make sure we ain’t halfway to Oz by now.”

His hand slides up further, over your arm, over your shoulder, fingers curling in the short hairs at the back of your neck; he tugs you down just enough to press a kiss against your lips, and his mouth is warm against yours. He tastes like coke and candy and road trip snacks of choice, and you close your eyes and let yourself melt.

Until the phone goes off again.

“Sorry,” he mumbles against your mouth, and you want to scream as he pulls away. You can’t have them, you can barely have him, and even when you have him he’s not paying attention to you, not thinking of you- his mind is with them. It’s fate’s cruel fucking joke, taking the three people you love and mashing them together and leaving you as the remainder, as a fucking afterthought, as-

“Oz was a tornado, not a hurricane,” is all that comes out of your mouth, slightly strangled, your grip a bit too tight on his arm. He glances up at you for a moment, brow furrowed, but drops his gaze back to his phone and you just-

Take a deep breath.

“Well, they know we’re both alive now and not in any imminent danger of gettin’ sucked into a sharknado or any other water-related weather anomaly,” he says, shrugging; his other hand is still absently petting your hair, but even as he slides his phone in his pocket, he’s distracted.

Another kiss, and another, and you’re starting to relax, starting to ease up, but the phone vibrates a third time and a third time Dave pulls away, rolling his shoulders a little with a huff as he fumbles his phone out of his pocket, again.

“Sorry,” he says again, letting go of your hair, “But you know if I don’t answer Karkat’s gonna call the fuckin’ cops. An’ the coast guard, an’ probably the navy for that matter.”

You’re overthinking things. You’re overemotional. You’re blowing things out of proportion. You’re already volatile, pent up, stressed and upset and on shaky ground, and this is just… an excuse to explode. You know all this shit, but it doesn’t stop you from wrenching away from him, turning on your heel, and storming straight to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind you.

It’s not fair to him. It’s not fair to them. They were together first- it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been drifting on the sidelines, love tearing your chest apart- you were too much of a coward to approach any of them, they got together, and now- despite all odds- at least you have one of them vaguely interested in being with you. It’s more than you could have asked for,

[More than you deserve-]

You toss your wet clothes to the ground and turn the water on; the pipes clank and the water smells slightly sulphurous, but it’s nearly hot enough to scald, so you have no complaints.

You can hear him in the bedroom, murmuring quietly, the words too muffled to make out but the tone of his voice rising and falling- soft, affectionate, a gentle laugh. Your chest aches. You want what they have, all three of them, want to be one with that-- you want it-

[You already have so much more than you deserve, asking for more than they’re willing to give is selfish of you, cruel of you-]

At some point, the voices stop. You’re not sure how long you’re in the shower, but the water never runs cold- not when the door creaks open softly, not when you hear the wet thud of Dave’s clothes hitting the tile floor, not when he slides in behind you. His arms curl around your waist, tug you back against his chest, but you can’t relax- you’re so wound up, you’ve twisted yourself so tightly into knots that you can’t even think-

His voice mumbles something soft against your shoulder but it’s too hard to separate the words out from the sound of water hitting the ceramic tub; his hands pet over your chest, down your sides, over your hips, slow and rhythmic, to the thrum of the slow, steady heartbeat you can feel pressed up against your back, his body still somehow warmer than yours, despite the hot shower water.

“...t’s up, Eri? What’s got you upset?”

“I ain’t upset.”

You snap it out too harshly, you know that- dumb, dumb, dumb. Too histrionic for your own good-

“I know you’re upset. I can tell, Eri, c’mon. You promised you’d talk to me, remember? When we started all this?”

Except if you talk, then he’ll know. He’ll know and he’ll end it right then and there because it’s too much, you’re too much, you’re always too much to handle, too much to deal with, and adding all this into the relationship he’s already juggling- between Karkat and Sollux, god, he- you-

You choke on something that should have been a sentence, the noise wet and desperate, absolutely fucking pitiful- something dark and angry bubbles up from the pit of your chest and you scrub at your face with the back of your hand, cheeks wet with more than rainwater and shower spray.

He mutters a muffled fuck soft and quiet against your shoulder, his arms wrapping tighter around you, hands firm on your hips and body pressed up against yours; it’s all you can do not to dump everything onto him all at once. It’s not his fault you’re an emotional fucking wreck- not his fault you can’t compartmentalize enough to deal with your own problems. You shouldn’t force it all on him, and you don’t want him to leave you-

“Why’re you cryin’, sweetheart?” he says, shifting, pinning- you’re pressed tight against the cold of the shower wall and the heated warmth of his body, a shivering mess, his hands moving to grip your wrists and his lips soft against the back of your throat, because he knows this makes you feel-- contained. Controlled.

Safe.

Funny, how he already knows you so well- you feel raw and trembly, a startled rabbit held still by a grip to the scruff, your heart pounding against your chest, but he’s a solid, steady weight against you, keeping you pressed into your own skin, keeping you from spiralling out and crashing hard-

“I’m not-”

“You are. Don’t lie to me, okay? That ain’t cool. Talk to me, babe, c’mon. I’m right here- undivided attention. Breathe deep and talk to me.”

And you choke out a stupid, dumb sob against the shower wall, pressing your forehead against it, shivering as he presses so firmly against you that you can feel the slight shifting of his chest with every breath, the slow, steady beat of his heart- it’s too much and not enough all at once and words just spill forth in an unending torrent, stuttered and wavering.

“I’m fuckin’ jealous,” and you hate it, you hate it, he doesn’t fucking deserve this shit, you’re so fucking selfish-

“I’m jealous an’ I shouldn’t be, I shouldn’t, I just- I want-”

His palm smooths slow and steady over your side, both of your wrists held tight against the shower wall in one of his hands; he’s patient with you, so patient, waiting so fucking nicely for you to spit out everything you’ve been choking on for years and years-

“I want you, I feel- I want what you have, I want everythin’ an’ I just- it’s so fuckin’ selfish, I know, I just- you an’ Kar an’ Sol, an’ even when you’re with me I just feel like-”

“Shit,” he mumbles, apologetic and regretful, his grip tightening on you, holding you even closer, “An afterthought, right. Like you’re just training wheels on a tricycle, like you could get thrown out and no one would miss you.”

You wince, but nod, face hot and wet and head spinning; you press your cheek against the cold shower wall and hold your breath to try to stop the sobbing, but all that does is make your chest hurt.

“Fuck,” is all he says, but he doesn’t let go. He just, pushes more weight against you, pulls you slowly down, and the two of you slide slowly to the floor of the tub, his arms gathering you close. You’re taller than him, but thinner- you crunch yourself into a ball and he hugs you to his chest, chin resting on your head as you lay curled in his lap.

“I’d say it’s not true, but I know how that shit feels, and I know me sayin’ it wouldn’t really magically make you stop thinking it,” he says, wry amusement in his tone; he sighs, pressing a kiss to the top of your wet hair, over the white streak.

“Would you believe me if I told you I already went through all this shit once, except on your side of the scenario? ‘Cause Sollux and Karkat were together before I was even close to being involved with both of them.”

You… hadn’t known that.

“I dated Kitty first. Sollux was doing his own thing, had a few people he casually fucked, but he and Kar were a solid fucking item. I felt like Karkat didn’t really need me, like I was just… looking too far into something that was just supposed to be sexual, y’know? And one night I got super fucking smashed and just laid all curled up under Sollux’s desk and according to him, mumbled about how terrible my love life was the whole night long. So hey, at least your revelation didn’t come out in a way that embarrassing.”

You still feel like shit, but you can’t help but let out a snotty, whimpery little laugh.

“But- dude. Eri, honey, sweetheart, babe, sugar plum, pookie bear-”

He kisses your face, over and over, mumbling pet names until you shove a hand over his mouth and laugh at him to stop, his hands sliding up and down your sides, petting over your waist; his lips curl against your palm and you shriek as his tongue slides over it, wet and drooly.

“All jokes aside, I care about you a whole fucking lot, okay? You ain’t just a sex thing. I don’t get stuck in hurricanes for people I only consider a sex thing. And...”

He stares at you, red eyes boring into your own, and they still take your breath away- he so rarely goes without his shades, even with you…

“Eri, babe. You know it doesn’t have to be just me, right? It can be all of us. Four of us.”

Your heart skips a beat, breath stuttering in your chest.  
“I… want that,” is all that comes out, weak and tremulous, your hands curling over his wrists as he reaches up to cup your face, thumbs stroking leftover dampness from your cheeks, “Da’e- Dave, don’t- don’t let this be a fuckin’ prank, or a joke, or-- I can’t take that, I can’t-”

“It ain’t, I promise,” he says, hurriedly, leaning in to kiss you quiet before he pulls back just enough to speak, “It’s not. I wouldn’t say that without being 100%, unironically serious about this biznasty shit, okay? Sollux has been bugging me about what you’re like in bed for the past three goddamn months nonstop anyways, I swear, this is just cutting out the middleman-”

You choke, he laughs, and his lips are on yours, sweet and warm. You’re exhausted. Every limb feels heavy, your head light, chest aching- your hands shake as you curl them around his shoulders. He kisses you again, then just… presses his forehead against yours, existing in your space, breathing the same air, and it’s… good.

It’s nice.

“We’ll talk about it, okay?” he says, shifting- a hand reaches blindly behind him to shut off the water, and you’re too tired to really protest as he hauls you up and out of the bath, “All four of us. But Eri, I swear to god, they’re just as interested as I am. They just-- we didn’t want to overwhelm you, y’know? So we’ll go home, and we’ll talk about it. But for now, you look like you need a nap.”

You do need a nap. You need a nap like nobody’s fucking business, okay- your legs are wobbly, your hands barely work as they reach out to take hold of the towel Dave drapes around your shoulders, and time moves oddly, like each blink is a prolonged several seconds. You loosely scrub the water from your hair, then just give up, following as Dave tugs you into the bedroom.

You need a nap, but-

“...Dave. I still don’t wanna get anywhere near that damn bed.”


	2. The Actual Porn Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> optional listening: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg14Ocs03xA

Talking, as it turns out, has a lot more kissing involved than you’d expected. 

 

In all honesty, there isn’t even that much to talk about. Dave holds your hand as you stutter and mumble your way through a poorly worded, clumsier version of the shit you’d babbled to him in the shower; Karkat just rolls his eyes and says _finally, you dumbshit_  and Sollux-- well. 

 

Sollux starts the kissing. 

 

It’s a lot rougher than Dave usually is, biting and quick and jittery, like he can’t quite decide what to focus on- first nipping at your lower lip, then kissing deep, then pulling back for teasing licks and bites as his hand grips the folds of your scarf to keep you from pulling away. He’s hot against you, tugging you in close, and… fuck. You’re weak, and you can’t help but melt against him, shivering hard as you kiss him back. 

 

You’re still half sure that this is just… some kind of crazy dream, some kind of strange hallucination, but you like it too much to complain. 

 

“About fucking time,” he lisps out, pushing you back after a minute or so of contact; Karkat in the background chimes in with a bored-sounding  _ don’t be a dick _ , still reclined on the couch with a lapful of Dave, and they’re trading kisses too. It’s surreal. You feel like you might be in shock.

 

“KK, I’m always a dick. It’d be special treatment if I wasn’t a dick,” and all this is said between kisses, nips, and licks, his free hand curling up to grab your hair; he tugs, your head tilts back, and his teeth are on your throat, biting hard before a tongue laves over the pulsing point of pain, the smooth ball of a tongue piercing brushing against your skin. He’s hot against you, chest pressed firmly against yours, and when you stumble, he bumps you back, pushing you closer to the couch step by step. 

 

And then you fall onto it, Karkat squawks, Dave cackles, and Sollux is grinning like the Cheshire cat and you kind of want to smack him. What else is new?

 

Still, it’s a tight fit on the couch but the four of you manage to arrange yourselves well enough- sort of. Dave ends up rolling off the couch to sit on the floor at your feet at some point, you’re in Karkat’s lap, Sollux’s awkwardly bony body draped over back in contrast to his boyfriend’s softness; it’s not quite comfortable but it’s definitely not  _ un _ comfortable, so you deal with an elbow digging into your ribs, with Karkat’s hot breath against your collarbone. Dave’s hand is on your thigh, and when you glance down at him, he looks the happiest you’ve ever seen him. 

 

Well, you’re not one to judge. You’re sure you have a dumbass smile on your face as well. 

 

“We  _ were _ sort of waiting for you to get your head out of your ass, though,” Karkat says, a big hand reaching up to grip your chin, pulling your face towards him; he meets you halfway, and he’s… different from both of them. Kissing him is a lot like kissing a marshmallow; Dave’s all skill and tongue, Sollux is all teeth and frantic energy, and Karkat’s just… soft. Nice. Slow, like he’s got all the time in the world and you’re his sole focus and  _ that feels good _ . 

 

“It only took him what, six years?” Sollux mumbles, teeth already back to marking up your throat, scarf half undone and neck bared; Dave laughs, smoothing a warm hand up your thigh, pulling your legs apart a little more so Karkat fits easier against you. 

 

“Eight if you count middle school,” the Strider points out, and one of your hands lashes out to ruffle up his hair in retaliation. 

 

“Okay, but nobody counts middle school. Any relationship begun in middle school does not count, by order of my own damn self. Because I said so. It only counts once you actually develop a functional fucking brain, so high school barely counts either,” Karkat says, rolling his eyes as he pulls back from kissing you; Sollux pulls your head around with his grip on your hair and kisses you again as well, firm and hard and energetic, and you respond as much as you can with your head cranked around in the awkward position. 

 

Your lips feel kiss-swollen, eyes heavy lidded, face flushed; you’re well aware you look like a damn mess, but fuck if you can’t bring yourself to care a single tiny bit. 

 

“I wanna fuck him,” Sollux mumbles against the back of your throat, hissing it out as he makes another mark right under your ear, “Can I-”

 

“Ask him, you goddamn barbarian. He’s literally right underneath you.”

 

Sollux pulls back, and at some point his glasses had been discarded; both unmatched eyes stare at you, intense, pupils dilated, and for a moment you feel like he’s some kind of predator and you’re the prey- and he’s going to devour you whole. 

 

“I wanna fuck you,” he repeats, low and serious- only to yelp as Karkat whacks him over the back of the head, eyes once again rolling so hard you think they might just fall out of his skull. 

 

“How about you try that again, with a little more romance? Maybe include something along the lines of  _ please _ ?”

 

You choke out something that might be a laugh, face red, and Sollux just grumbles for a moment, sticking his tongue out before swooping back in to kiss you quiet; when he pulls back, he nips at your jaw, his grip tight in your hair and body pressed up against your back, hot and nearly thrumming with excess energy. 

 

“Hey, ED- can I please plow you into next week? Promise you’ll enjoy it.”

 

Karkat bemoans what he calls  _ a fucking travesty of a come-on _ in your ear as you choke on more giggles, barely able to nod your head before you hear Dave whooping in the background, his hand running over your thigh, fingertips tracing the inseam of your pants; the touch makes you shiver, and then Sollux is kissing you even harder, grinding against you as he moans into your mouth. 

 

It’s so much, so fast- it’s incredible, it’s great, it’s-- so good. Too good. You feel like you can’t quite believe this is happening and there’s a lingering sense of  _ when will the other shoe drop  _ but you shove it back in your head along with the 

 

[You don’t deserve this-]

 

and just… focus on what’s happening now. 

 

What’s happening now is all that matters, and what’s happening now is fantastic. 

 

Karkat pulls you from Sollux’s mouth, turns your head back to him and kisses you soundly, slow and lazy as Sollux goes back to biting at your throat; Dave’s hands slide insidiously over your body, loosening up buttons and undoing belts with all the speed and grace of the damn ninja bullshit he watches so often on television. It’s shocking, what he’s capable of doing without you noticing; between Sollux asking and you turning your head to face Karkat, he’s gotten your belt undone and your pants unbuttoned, and he’s working on slowly sliding your shirt up over your chest. 

 

You bat his hands away, but just long enough to tug off your sweater yourself, shirt going with it; your scarf falls to the floor and your glasses are knocked crooked, but Karkat just reaches up to gently straighten them out, humming out a pleased note as your hands slide over his chest in return.

 

Dave is stocky and solid, Sollux is 90% bones and coat hangers loosely twisted into the shape of a person, and you’ve got a fair bit of softness but a lot of hidden muscle from swimming; Karkat is all plush, rounded hips and a soft chest, and you dip your head to kiss him back as your hands sweep over his sides, skin against skin. God, he’s even warmer than Sollux, too- sometimes you feel like he’s got the heat of the sun all trapped inside him, a miniature furnace-

 

Sollux yanks your pants down over your ass and shoves you forward and you choke out an awkward, startled little sound, flushing as Karkat laughs at you; one of his big hands lands in your hair, combing through it, and you turn your face to press a kiss against his collarbone even as Dave’s lube-slick fingers- two in one go- push into you quick. 

 

That’s a fucking shock, to be sure; you gasp and bite down, your hands clutching Karkat’s shoulders his hand pets your hair; his other hand moves between you, slipping into your pants, and fuck, he’s so warm and soft and  _ good _ that you can’t help but whine in pleasure, unsure whether to buck your hips into the hand around your cock or the fingers curling inside you.

 

Dave knows how to work you up, how to stretch you out- knows how much you can take and how fast, and by the time he’s got three fingers in you, you’re about ready to shove  _ somebody _ down and ride them until you’ve gotten what you want. When you say that, one of Sollux’s hands just runs over your back, his voice husky as he laughs at you. The fucker. 

 

“Patience,” he teases, and you hiss at him, shifting away to grind your hips against Karkat instead; Karkat, of course, has a deliciously favorable reaction, moaning low and soft as he grips you a little harder. One of your hands drops to claw clumsily at his pants, your voice a breathless mess as you beg him to  _ take them off, take ‘em off Kar please- _ or at least push them down enough for you to feel him. 

 

God, you want to feel him. You want to feel both of them, but you’ll pick Kar over Sol any day, because Sol’s an asshole and deserves to wait his turn. 

 

You croon, kissing at Karkat’s jaw; he moves his hand from you- terrible- and undoes his pants, pulling himself from them and gripping the two of you together- much better. His cock slides against yours roughly for a second, then Dave’s hand joins in, lube-slick and warm, giving you something to rut against as fingers slide from your hole, replaced by the tip of Sollux’s length. 

 

“Fuckin’--  _ get on with it already _ ,” and if that’s your voice it’s more hoarse and needy than you’ve ever heard it; he shoves a hand between your shoulders, pushes you hard against Karkat’s chest, and slides in. 

 

_ Fuck _ , it’s good. 

 

It’s hardly your first time, hardly even close, but- it’s Sollux. And Karkat’s here, and Dave’s here, and it just-- feels  _ better _ , somehow. Not that you’d ever tell the dick that he’s the best you’ve ever had, but at the moment, he’s pretty much the best thing you’ve ever felt in your life, and the gasping moan that wrenches itself from your mouth is probably more than proof of that. 

 

He’s pressed firmly against your back, his hands tight on your hips, pushing you down against Karkat and keeping you pinned between them; Karkat grinds his hips up against yours, the softness to Sollux’s harshness, movements in direct counterpoint. And Dave-- god.

 

Dave’s sitting back on his knees, pants open, watching all of you with heavy lidded eyes; Karkat has two fingers in his mouth and he’s licking them like he would a cock, hips rolling as he fucks into the curl of his fist. The sight of it makes you whine, high pitched and wanton- Sollux pushes forward harder, deeper, snapping his hips into you and your hands claw down Karkat’s arms and his grip tightens in your hair-

 

It’s all so much. 

 

It feels like no time at all has passed before you feel the tell-tale warmth low in your gut, your thighs shaking as Sollux drives his cock right up against that spot inside you that makes you feel like fireworks; it’s too fast, not enough, not yet, but you can’t exactly stop yourself from cumming through sheer willpower. You push your mouth against Karkat’s collarbone to muffle your loud cry as your hips jerk forward, your nails digging into the softness of his upper arms as he grinds his stiff length up against your twitching cock; Sollux huffs, panting hard against your shoulder as he pushes in faster, harder, then stiffens up, biting down hard as he lets out a snarl of pleasure. 

 

His arm loops around your shoulders and pulls as he falls back; you flop against him on the other half of the couch, shuddering all over as his softening cock slides from you, overstimulated and so clingy he barely has an arm free to toss out the condom. 

 

“Fuck,” you mumble, head dropping to rest against his collarbone; he lets out a low noise of agreement, then just… runs a hand over your back, nails scratching lightly against your skin as he lazily watches Karkat tug Dave a little closer. 

 

You lift your head a bit too, just to watch; Dave’s always more than pretty on his knees, and he settles between Karkat’s legs easily, parting his lips and taking Karkat’s length into his mouth without a single bit of hesitation. Karkat looks more than pleased, and neither of them last for very much longer- Dave coming first, mouth stuffed full and hand working over his own cock at full speed, and Karkat soon after, Dave’s hair fisted in one hand and head tossed back as he cums down Dave’s throat. 

 

If you weren’t still tired from the disastrous road trip, you’re sure you could probably get it up again just at that sight alone, but alas. It’s not in the cards, and Sollux is already snoring, face buried in your hair and arm draped loosely around your shoulders. 

 

“So, anyways, welcome to the shitshow,” Dave says, tossing you a wet washcloth as he wobbles back into the living room on unsteady legs; Karkat collects him up and wipes the both of him down as you clean yourself up. You poke Sollux until he wakes up and shoves you off the couch, toss him the rag, and you just. Splay out on the floor, grinning like an idiot. 

 

“It’s a good shitshow,” you respond, content to just… bask for a moment. You feel good, everything feels good, they all like you, you fit, you belong… 

 

And then you get a wet washcloth, ice cold, slapped right across your bare chest. 

 

The shriek you let out is enough to be heard by the neighbors, but it’s fine. You’re sure the relationship will survive once you murder Sollux. 


End file.
